Living your BEST Life

For a long time I've been called competitive. Sometimes I argue this statement. Sometimes I explain it. Sometimes I defend it. And those who really know me...really really really know me...know that I am competitive. It's a deep rooted trait. I was born competitive. And I can own it...even when I argue, explain, or defend this fact.


Why is this important when it comes to emotional intelligence and life? Because emotional intelligence, unlike personality traits, are changeable. Develop-able. Grow-able. There is no need to argue, explain or defend your emotional intelligence. There is, however, a need to own it. Whatever your emotional intelligence may be, you are responsible for it. Every ounce of your ability to demonstrate your emotional intelligence is your responsibility.


And that's why it has such a great value in our life. An emotionally intelligent life left untapped, unexplored, undeveloped, is a life that will fail you terribly. It is one in which you will constantly leave interactions questioning (whether in your head or out loud), "Why did I do that? Why do I keep doing that? What's wrong with me? Why can't I do better?"


Truth is...there's nothing wrong with you. This particular series of questions is the trigger to your own salvation. If you find yourself spouting these questions in any combination, I can help you change the monologue.


Emotional Intelligence is made up of 5 composites and 15 sub-scales. Each composite has 3 sub-scales related to it. Defined within each sub-scale are actions to be taken to grow and develop the skills to demonstrate it while also balancing it, with the 14 other sub-scales.


For example, Self Perception (your ability to know and manage yourself) is 1 composite of Emotional Intelligence. It's 3 sub-scales are Self Regard, Self Actualization, and Emotional Self Awareness. Each of these sub-scales relates to 3 other sub-scales in the EQi model. When you look at the model it's a spider-web of interaction between all 15 sub-scales for a balanced demonstration of Emotional Intelligence.


One of the exercises to understanding and then growing your Self Perception composite is called ABCDE. A = an activating event (let's say dishes left on the counter by your spouse). B = beliefs (let's say you believe they left the dishes because they are getting back at you for harping on them to put the dishes in the dishwasher). C = the consequence (let's just suppose that, upon seeing the dishes, you immediately went to find said spouse and yelled at them for NEVER EVER helping in the kitchen). D = actively dispute, debate, and discard your beliefs (this looks like you seeing the dishes and taking a moment's pause to consider that your spouse made dinner, did the laundry, worked a full day, and in fact is very helpful). E = the effects of your D's (let's agree that this likely causes you to stay calm in the face of an activating event, perhaps walk to find your spouse and simply ask about the dishes on the counter, or even rinse them and put them in the dishwasher yourself without any feelings of superiority). NOTE: Don't take this exercise at face value in it's explanation - it doesn't happen in order of ABCDE to be successful. The real order is C-A-B-D-E.


The power of this, and other exercises in growing your Emotional Intelligence is that it profoundly impacts every single interaction. Every. Single. One. Without fail your life - your emotional function, your social function, your well-being, and your performance reaches optimal levels of success.


As a certified EQi coach and life mentor I can explain your Emotional Intelligence and the benefits of investing time in it's growth. I'm here to help.

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